As drives the storm, at any door I knock,
And house with Montaigue, and now with Locke"
Ah, I wonder if any body will ever tame La belle Ena? Gardez bien! Ha! Ha!
I wonder if my cher ami wanted, really wanted me to come? Why yes, of course - I like mon nouveau venu ami ever and ever so much! ---- He will not misunderstand me, I'm sure!
And that's been my greatest trouble!
Afternoon - Same day
I feel blue - tired - "discouraged", this afternoon! - Scarcely realize that life is worth the living! - how these dull moments will come to us - like clouds to an April sky --- Sometimes I have half a mind to "pull up stakes" and go to C[alifornia] as I've promised! And that? N'importante! Since it is a trifle, after all! A trifle? Yes - but these kind of trifles make up the sum of living!
Night
Why am I making so many jottings in my journal today? -- Is it that I want to talk to myself, or somebody else?
Ah, that would be telling - but, after all there would not be much to tell. --- -----
Ena, ma chere, you won the name of "Sans Souci" in by-gone life - how would Sans Coeur answer now? --No, it is not as bad as that - at any rate my "friends" have no reason to name me thus!!!
O! Such a washing (not changing the subject?) as we (Herbert and I) did yesterday! It was the maiden effort with both - or, to be more explicit, we made our debut among the interesting society of "Soap-Suds-Slingers"--
Made an entrée worth telling about, as well! -----60 pieces - but we had a washing and wringing machine to help us "onward and upward!" Don't think we'd have had so much to brag about if these modern improvements had not done a telling part -
My Den
Wed. afternoon - March 10th
I believe I will learn to be a "house-keeper" after all that has been said and done! Made three mince - pies this morning! My first attempt! Now the next thing on the programme is bread! I must learn that all-important art --- Un bon ami of mine has given me a cookbook -that, together with a Duch Almane, I make my constant study - guarding them jealously, as my most treasured treasures! --- -------
I wonder when I will get the mail? -- I almost fear to get it - least I am called away by some of that ever-lasting law-business. --- I am tired of the world and its crowding cares! I want to rest here awhile, until - until when?
Pshaw! ------- ------- -------
My Den
Friday - March 12th
Missed one day in my journal, and did not know it! --- ---
I've been out hunting ducks - and feel half blind from fatigue and the sun -
--I've been sitting here thinking - and my willing pen would soon stamp the sayward dords that tremble on my lips for utterance!
O! I can't write - how my hand twitches -- and yet I must say something! I got a letter that has made me miserable since yesterday evening - I did not read all of it until after 9 pm.
Did I tell a falsehood? -- n'importante!
----------------- ----------------- ------------------- ------------
And we are friends? --ah, yes -- what then?
Pshaw! ---------------